a study of Starkit's Prophecy
by clearflight
Summary: The legendary bad-fic, here for your enjoyment. The grammar has been corrected, and the spelling is intelligible... you might be able to read it without your eyes falling out from the sheer horror. Bonus: now with sparse, witty commentary by yours truly.
1. Chapter 1: ALLIANCES

_**CH1: "**_**Alliances**_**"**_

_**Hey guys! I've succumbed to the evil, I've decided to repost one of the worst fics (or best troll-fics) of Warriors history: dundundun... Starkit's Prophecy. It's not an original idea, but hey, I feel like I could add to this story. This is a revised version of the text, but I will be leaving in typos that are funny.**_

_**Please leave me a review on what you think of it. Hopefully, I will get the 2nd chapter up tonight so you guys aren't left with just the allegiances.**_

_**Please also note that this version has been edited. The some grammar and some of the spelling has been corrected: the original story was much, much worse. My notes are in Bold-Italics, and The original Author notes are in Straight-up bold. **_

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><p><strong>Allegiances<strong>  
><strong>Ok, so like I said this is my first story. Be nice please <em>(We'll try our hardest)<em>**

**BTW, it's set after sunset, so...**

ThunderClan

Leader: Firestar - ginger tom with a flame-colored pelt

Deputy: Brambleclaw - dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes

Medicine Cat: Jayfeather - gray tom

Warriors:

Squirrelflight - dark ginger she-cat with green eyes_** (Squirrelflight is the most senior warrior? Interesting...)**_

Apprentice, Foxpaw

Dustpelt - dark brown tabby tom

Sandstorm - pale ginger she-cat

Cloudtail - long-haired white tom

Apprentice Daisypaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace _**(no comment here)**_

Brackenfur - golden brown tabby tom

Sorreltail - tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat with amber eyes

Thornclaw - golden brown tabby tom

Brightheart - white she-cat with ginger patches

Spiderleg - long-limbed black tom with brown underbelly and amber eyes

Whitewing - white she-cat with green eyes

Apprentice, Icepaw

Birchfall - light brown tabby tom

Graystripe - long-haired gray tom

Berrynose - cream-colored tom

Hazeltail - small gray-and-white she-cat

Mousewhisker - gray-and-white tom

Cinderheart - gray tabby she-cat

Poppyfrost - tortoiseshell she-cat

Honeyfern- light brown tabby she-cat

Lionblaze - golden tabby tom

Hollyleaf - black she-cat

Foxheart - reddish tabby tom _**(hang on a moment, weren't "Foxheart" and "Icefire" apprentices a few lines ago?) **_

Icefire-white she cat

Toadribbit-black—and-white tom

Roseflame-dark cream she cat

Briarstorm-dark brown she cat

Bumbleflower-very pale gray tom with black stripes _**(very manly name for Bumblepaw)**_

Blossomwind-pale brown she cat with a dark stripe along her spine

Apprentices:

Foxpaw - flame-colored tom

Daisypaw - cream long-furred cat from the horseplace

Flamepaw - fire-colored she cat with one grnee eye one blue eye

Lakepaw- bright blue-gray she cat with blue eyes

**(The last two are Starkit's sisters)**

Jazzpaw- red she cat with blue eyes and a black tail _**(I would make a comment here, but I really don't have anything to say for this name choice)**_

Queens:

Ferncloud - pale gray (with darker flecks) she-cat with green eyes mother of Dustpelt's kits _**(which are...?)**_

Dawnsparkle-bright tortoiseshell she cat with gargantuan blue eyes mother of Jayfeather's kits, formally of ShadowClan_** (*hums* Keeps getting better)**_

Kits:

StarKit - gray-ish, blue-and purple she cat with molting orange eyes and a white star on her forehead _**(I can't even try to think about what "molting" is referring to. Revolting? Let's stick with that.)**_

Elders:

Longtail - pale tabby tom with dark black stripes, retired early due to failing sight

Mousefur - small dusky brown she-cat

Weaslepelt- big red tabby he-cat _**(he-cat, I'm dying...I'm using this from now on instead of "tom")**_ with bright yellow eyes **(he's Rowanclaw's dad, he came to Thunderclan when Dawnsparkle did)**

Leafpool-brown tabby she cat

ShadowClan

Leader: Blackstar - large white tom with huge jet-black paws

Deputy: Russetfur - dark ginger she-cat

Medicine Cat: Littlecloud - very small tabby tom

Apprentice, Flamepaw (ginger tom)

Warriors:

Oakfur - small brown tom

Apprentice, Tigerpaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Rowanclaw - ginger tom

Smokefoot - black tom

Apprentice, Owlpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Ivytail - black, white and tortoiseshell she-cat

Apprentice, Dawnpaw (cream-furred she-cat)

Toadfoot - dark brown tom

Crowfrost - black-and-white tom

Apprentice, Olivepaw (tortoiseshell she-cat)

Kinkfur - tabby she-cat, with long fur that sticks out at all angles

Ratscar - brown tom with long scar across his back

Apprentice, Shrewpaw (gray she-cat with black feet)

Snaketail - dark brown tabby tom with striped tail

Apprentice, Scorchpaw (dark gray tom)

Whitewater - white she-cat with long fur, blind in one eye

Apprentice, Redpaw (mottled brown and ginger tom)

Tawnypelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes

Flamewind- flame color tabby tom with green eye's

Tigerclaw-huge dark brown tabby tom with long claw's and amber eys

Dawnfeather- cream tabby she cat **(shes a different cat than the one in TC ok?) _(okay, we got it)_**

Olivepaw- bright brown she cat _**(bright brown... I'm going to use this description from now on!)**_

Queens:

Snowbird - pure white she-cat

Elders:

Cedarheart - dark gray tom

Tallpoppy - long-legged light brown she-cat

WindClan

Leader: Onestar - brown tabby tom

Deputy: Ashfoot - gray she-cat

Medicine Cat: Barkface - short-tailed brown tom

Apprentice, Kestrelpaw (mottled gray tom)

Warriors:

Tornear - tabby tom

Crowfeather - dark gray tom

Owlwhisker - light brown tabby tom

Whitetail - small white she-cat

Nightcloud - black she-cat

Gorsetail - very pale gray-and-white cat with blue eyes

Weaselfur - ginger tom with white paws

Harespring - brown-and-white tom

Leaftail - dark tabby tom, amber eyes

Apprentice, Thistlepaw (long-haired white tom)

Dewspots - spotted gray she-cat

Apprentice, Sedgepaw (light brown tabby she-cat)

Willowclaw - gray she-cat

Apprentice, Swallowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Antpelt - brown tom with one black ear

Emberfoot - gray tom with two dark paws

Apprentice, Sunpaw (tortoiseshell she-cat with large white mark on her forehead)

Heathertail - light brown tabby she-cat with blue eyes

Breezepelt - black tom with amber eyes

Elders:

Morningflower - very old tortoiseshell queen

Webfoot - dark gray tabby tom

RiverClan

Leader: Leopardstar - unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat

Deputy: Mistyfoot - gray she-cat with blue eyes

Medicine Cat: Mothwing - dappled golden she-cat

Apprentice, Willowshine (gray tabby she-cat)

Warriors:

Blackclaw - smoky-black tom

Voletooth - small brown tabby tom

Apprentice, Minnowpaw (dark gray she-cat)

Reedwhisker - black tom

Mosspelt - tortoiseshell she-cat with blue eyes

Apprentice, Pebblepaw (mottled gray tom)

Beechfur - light brown tom

Rippletail - dark gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Mallowpaw (light brown tabby tom)

Graymist - pale gray tabby

Dawnflower - pale gray she-cat

Dapplenose - mottled gray she-cat

Pouncetail - ginger-and-white tom

Mintfur - light gray tabby tom

Apprentice, Nettlepaw (dark brown tabby tom)

Otterheart - dark brown she-cat

Apprentice, Sneezepaw (gray-and-white tom)

Pinefur - very short-haired tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Robinpaw (tortoiseshell-and-white tom)

Rainstorm - mottled gray-blue tom

Duskfur - brown tabby she-cat

Apprentice, Copperpaw (dark ginger she-cat)

Queens:

Icewing - white cat with green eyes, mother of Beetlekit, Pricklekit, Petalkit, and Grasskit

Elders:

Heavystep - thickset tabby tom

Swallowtail - dark tabby she-cat

Stonestream - gray tom

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><p><em><strong>All in all, I'm rather impressed with this chapter. Had xdarkrosesx broke character? Or had she discovered the wonder of copy + paste? A question that may never be answered. <strong>_

_**PLEASE NOTE: This is not my original story. It was first posted on FF by xdarkrosesx sometime back in the day. I have reposted it here for your enjoyment and so you may read this Starclan-awful story without the grammatical horrors and spelling blunders. **_

_**Also, remember that bold-italics is me, and bold is her. Got it? :)**_

_**I'll post the next chapter ASAP. **_

_**Clearflight (bridget)**_


	2. Chapter 2: Chpater oen prouloge

_**CH2: "**_**Chpater oen prouloge**_**"**_

_**Hold on tight, because through the next few chapters this story takes a turn into crazy-land (hint: and it never really turns back onto normal street)**_

_**Remember: me - bold&italics, xdarkrosesx - **_**bold**

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><p>Chapter one prologue<p>

The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she-cat looked up. Her eyes were bright. _**(Too. Many. Simple. Sentences.)**_

"There is a prophecy!" she said. "Out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly."

"It's about Starkit!" _**(wow, couldn't tell!)**_ A white tom_**(whose identity is not important, it appears)**_ said. "She's going to save the forest."

He looked at a gold tom by Bluestar. _**(Lionblaze? Lionheart? Half a dozen other golden toms in StarClan?)**_

"She has powers nobody dreamed of." said the gold tom. "Should we tell Jayfeather?" he asked.

"Yes" said Bluestar, "he needs to know."

She walked away from the pool to tell Jayfeather about the prophecy.

**Did you like it? Please tell me in your review!**

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><p><em><strong>I'm going to upload another chapter too, to get the ball rolling with this story. This chapter is so short!<strong>_

_** Please let me know how I'm doing! And remember, flame all you want, but this is not my story...repeat NOT MY WRITING! :)**_

_**clearflight**_


	3. Chapter 3: to the rose of a Heroin

_**CH3: "**_**Chapter to the rose of a Heroin**_**"**_

_**I will be leaving some of the typos in for your amusement!**_

_**Thank you for the support asofar!**_

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><p>Chapter two, the rise of a heroin <em><strong>(addiction?)<strong>_

**(Okay Jazzie-kun please don't get mad at me because you're not in it yet. You'll appear soon don't worry.)**

Starkit woke up and sunlight was in the branches. She closed her eyes again, still tired. Butter mom wouldn't let her _**(eat saturated fats!)**_ sleep: not today.

"Sweety its time to get up" said Dawnsparkle, her eyes shining. "Today is important today." _**(much department of redundancy department, much?)**_

"What is it mom," said Starkit, awake right away. Then the she-cat remembered what today was.

"Ohmigosh its my ceremony today!" she squealed excitedly. Today was the day she was an apprentice!

She flicked outside not even waiting for her Mom. But her Mom caught up to her quick.

"Sweety, you know the clans don't accept cats like us sometimes" she said.

Starkit glared. She didn't like being told that. Just because her Mom was a used-to-be Shadowclan cat and her dad was Jayfeather the medicine cat didn't mean she was different!_**(Um, yes sweetie, it does)**_

"Starpaw come here." said Firestar from the leg. He jumped down. _**(leg = ledge, or leg = log? You decide!)**_

"Starkit, it's time for you to become an apprentice" he said. "You're a strong brave cat and because of that I will mentor with you."

Everybody gasped. Starkit did too. She heard her mother say "Wow!"

Fireheart _**(what happened to being leader? Has Starkit taken over already? *gets up and leaves*)**_ licked her shoulder. He whispered in her ear "You'll be the best there ever was Starpaw, I know it."

Surprised she walked away when they were done howling for her. _**(o-kay?)**_ Then she went over to Jayfeather and Dawnsparkle who were very proud _**(I love how everyone in xdarkrosesx's ThunderClan is totally passive to the idea of the medicine cat having a mate, when they apparently banished Leafpool to the elders den). **_

"Daughter we're very happy but we have to say something," said Jayfeather, his chest puffed out. "You see there is this prophecy Starclan gave me it said 'Out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." _**(obvious prophecy is obvious)**_

Starpaw gasped. What did it mean?

**Lol, I update fast, don't I. REVIEW or I'll hit (you) over the head with a frying pan! XDD jk**

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><p><em><strong>You've been warned. It only gets worse from here.<strong>_


	4. Chapter 4: chapter three the Battle 4 th

_**CH4: "**_**Chapter three the Battle 4 the caln**_**"**_

_****You've been warned. ****_

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><p>Chapter three: the battle for the clan<p>

**Thanks Jazzie-kun for the good review! _(is it just me or is she using the wrong japanese honorific?)_ And stop flaming the story! I bet you can't write such a good story! _(Want to bet?)_**

Starpaw walked over to the apprentice's den. Inside she saw her sisters Flamepaw and Lakepaw and her friend Jazzpaw**(a.n: jazzie-kin ur my bff!)**was sleeping on the moss

"Jazzpaw get up." she cried. Jazzpaw opened her brilliant blue eyes and looked at her.

"Do you want to go on patrol with me?" she asked.

"Sure!" said Jazzpaw, getting up from the moss. They left and went too the entrance to camp.

But then, a cat came in through the entrance! It was Blackstar! _**(omg!)**_

"Shadowclan are attacking!" she yelled. _**(Yes, one cat signifies all of ShadowClan is attacking! Good job, Starpaw!)** _All the cats came out from their dens. She jumped on a cat and clawed him and he ran of_** (wow, Starpaw! No battle training, and you defeat a cat with one move! You're special!)**_

"Good job Starpaw!" Firestar called, "The last cat I knew that could fight like that was Sandstorm. You're a good fighter!"_** (Is Sandstorm deceased?)**_

Starpaw was happy. She was a good fighter! Maybe this was what the prophecy meant._** (We can all hope so)**_

**Thanks and please no more flames.**

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><p><em><strong>Boring chapter...for this story at least :-p<strong>_

_**Thanks for the reviews!**_

_**clearflight **_


	5. Chapter 5: The Traning under the Star

_**CH5: "**_**Chapter Three The Training Under The Star**_**"**_

_**** echoflame - I did have a commentary, you've caught me. It was a while ago :) I'm recycling the chapters that I had done for simplicity's sake. Again remember, I'm bold ITALICS. ****_

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><p><strong>Chapter Three: The traning under the stars<strong>

**OMIGOSH Guys I'm so sorry but SOMEONE *glares at rainy days* FLAMED ME AND I GOT REALLY HURT. OKAY IF you don't LIKE the story you don't have to read it. _(Oh, but yes we do)_**

Chapter Three The Traning Under The Stars. _**(didn't we just go over this?)**_

ShadowClan ran from the camp _**(wimpy Blackstar ruins everything)**_. Starpaw smiled. She'd won! No one could hurt her family now.

Starpaw!" said Firestar. "Its time we train! I want to show you how to fight!"

"Ok." said Starpaw happily. "But you just saw I could fight, right?"

"Well, ya." said Firestar. _**(I feel the OCdisease spreading to Firestar already)**_ "But I wanted to see if that was all you knew."

"Ok." They went to the forest together and the other cats cleaned up the bodies. _**(Ten seconds of battle, and there are BODIES?)**_

"Ok Starpaw" said Firestar once they got there. "We'll start with how to dodge."

"C'mon that's too easy!" yelled StarPaw. She'd just beat Blackstar, she was ready for anything!

"Ok, ok," mewled Firestar,_** (you keep using that word, and is Firestar suddenly a kit?)**_ "lets learn how to claw an opponent."

"Ya." yowled Starkit. She jumped at Firestar not giving him time to attack. She hit his side; he didn't move he was too surprised. She clawed him and he started bleeding **_(for STARCLAN'S sake Starpaw: claws SHEATHED)_**.

"Wow Starpaw," he said, "you're doing awesome."

"Really?" gaped StarPaw. She didn't think she was doing that good was she really special like the prophecy meowed?_**(shakes head slowly)**_

"Yes Starpaw," snarled Firestar. "I couldn't even get away fast enough. Only Scourge was able to do that before." _**(plot twist that would have made this story 10x better: Starpaw is Scourge reincarnated)**_

"OMIGOSH REALLY?" asked Starpaw. Scourge?! THE SCOURGE? She had heard so much about him he was really evil and killed a lot of cats. "I'M LIKE SCOURGE?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Firepaw said quickly. _**(this is only the start of the age bending)** _"I meant you were a good fighter. It's really cool." At that minute he thought to himself 'Starpaw is so kawaii look at her eyes and her fur'._**(woah woah woah. let's take a step back. firestar is father to leafpool, who is mother to jayfeather, who is father to Starpaw. let me spell it out i-n-c-e-s-t a-l-e-r-t)**_

"Oh, ok thanks." They trained for awhile. Later Starpaw beat Firestar 8 times once she let him win to make him feel better and by the last one she was a little tired._** (only a little)**_

"Hey Firestar can we hunt now?" said Starpaw. "I'm kind of hungry."

"Oh well, if you want." Firestar was disappointed, he and Starpaw had been having so much fun! So they went hunting, Starpaw messed up a couple times but Firestar said it was okay, since it was only her second time **_(a flaw! *waves excitedly* oh wait, nevermind)_ (She'd had her first time when she was a little kit and she and Firestar had snuck out together that's why he chose her as his apprentice)**

Later that night Starpaw looked up at the stars. She and Firestar had so much fun today!. They'd brought back enough food for the whole clan.

Looking at the stars she turned to her best friend, Jazzpaw. She said, "Do you think we'll ever be up there?"

"Ya, totally." said Jazzpaw. "I mean you'll be leader and I'll be deputy _**(what kit aims to only be deputy?)**_ one day... we'll have to!"

"Ya." said Starpaw smiling she loved Jazzpaw **(NOT IN THAT WAY YOU SICKOS!)** they were best friends. She looked up at the stars again and smiled and fell asleep with the Starclan voices whispering in her head.

**REVIEW FOR MY LIFE_ (that makes it an easy decision, no?)_**

**(lol you like it Jazzy I made you as kawaii as I could)**

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><p><em><strong>*bangs head against keyboard*<strong>_

_**CF**_


	6. Chapter 6: For StarPaws decids

_**CH6: "**_**Chapter For StarPaws decids**_**"**_

_**We've still got a while to go, so hang on tight**_

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><p><strong><strong>Chapter 6: Chapter For StarPaws decids<strong>**

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><p>Chapter Four: Starpaw decides <em><strong>(ominous, isn't it?)<strong>_

**Flamers, you're all satanists! Anyone who doesn't lie the story is a satanist because Starpaw has such a strong connection with Starclan and that's why you don't like JEZUS. _(I love run-on sentences and anyone who calls me a satanist! And for someone as religious as xdarkrosesx will turn out to be, you'd think that they'd know how to spell the name of their "savior")_**

"Starpaw woke up it's time for parole."_** (No! Don't let her out of the slammer! I don't care what she did, give her a life sentence!)**_

Starpaw opened her bright rainbow eyes _**(but I thought they were revolting orange!)**_ and looked around.

"Omigosh! Who was that!" she yelled.

"It's me, Graystripe" Graystripe whispered in her ear. Starpaw got up.

"Omigosh Graystripe, what do you want!?" she yelped. Graystripe looked at her. _**(IF SHE SPELLS LOOKED AS 'LOCKED' ONE MORE TIME...)**_

"Will you be my _**(yoga?)**_ mat" he asked.

"Omigosh, Graystripe that's so nice!" Starkit screamed "but Firestar already asked me." _**(when did this occur... and besides, I'm team Graystripe, incest isn't really my thing)**_

"Well then he's just an idiot." _**(o...kay Graystripe)**_

"Starpaw wake up it's time for parole." _**(didn't we just go over this?)**_

Starpaw opened her bright rainbow eyes and looked around.

"Omigosh! Who was that!" she yelled.

"It's me, Graystripe" Graystripe whispered in her ear. Starpaw got up.

"Omigosh Graystripe, what do you want!?" she yelped. Graystripe looked at her. _**  
><strong>_

"Will you be my mat" he asked.

"Omigosh, Graystripe that's so nice!" Starkit screamed "but Firestar already asked me." _**  
><strong>_

"Well then he's just an idiot." _**  
><strong>_

"Why do you say that?" yelled Starpaw. GaySprite _**(hang on a minute... Gaysprite has a ring to it!)**_ locked_**(THAT'S IT)**_ at her meanly.

"I don't like him" squeaked Graystripe as he looked around. "He's a mean cat!"

"OMIGOSH YOU MEAN LIKE SCOURGE?" STARPAW WAS SHOCKED. _**(WHY THE CAPS LOCK THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SENTENCE?)**_

"No you're much prettier than Scourge" said Graystripe _**(that was relevant, how?).**_ He licked her on the head.

"I want you to be my mat." he yelled. _**(We get it Graystripe, you are in desperate need of a mat)**_

"Well mabye. But what would Firestar say?" she whispered.

Graystripe looked around again.

"I don't think he would mind," he said.

"OMIGOSH SURE THEN!" Starpaw yelled happily. _**(so much for secretive whispering)**_

"What are you talking about" said Fireheart as he was walking up. He looked angry.

"Oh... uh, nothing Firestar, go back to sleep!" mewled Starpaw. She hoped he would leave so she could be alone with Graystripe.

"Yeah, Firestar there's nothing to worry about _**(except for the fact that I just stole your mat!1111!11!)**_!" cheered Graystripe but Firestar didn't leave, instead he said "I thought I heard you asking her to be our mate." _**(Oh, so they're going to share her? How economically responsible of them!)**_

"Oh... uh, yeah!" yelled Starpaw, but Firestar didn't leave. Instead he jumped on Graystripe!

"I want to be with her!" said Fireheart, attacking Graystripe.

"No I do!" shouted. _**(who shouted? o.O)**_

"Guys stop fighting! You can BOTH be my mats _**(so it's a 2-way mat relationship!)**_!" Starpaw whispered apply like seCert. _**(WTF)**_

"No we can't do that there can only be one!" howled Firestar. "Otherwise you will cheat on us!" _**(I think the word cheating implies a secretive act...?)**_

"So Stargleam, who will you pick?" giggled Gaystripe._**(who the hell is stargleam? oh right, she's our resident heroin (addict)!)**_

_**(Well... the love tetracontakaihexagon has begun at last!)**_

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><p><em><strong>If anyone can figure out "apply like seCert" I'll be forever in your debt. <strong>_

_**CF**_


	7. Chapter 7: CHapter five untidles

**_C7:_ "Chapter five Untidles"**

_**I'm warning you: I'd back away slowly from this story before you lose any more brain cells.**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Five: Untitled<strong>

**YOU'RE ALL JUST SAINTS!_ (I assume she means satanists, but hey, this is funnier)_ Why can't you just accept jEsuss_ (I'm just never going to correct Jesus so we can all have a laugh), _it would make your life so much more enjoyable. You would never half to worry again_(but I'm afraid he would take my spelling/grammar abilities like he clearly did to you)_**

Starpaw was sad.

"I...I..." she was so focused! These two cats had asked her to be their mates _**(you heard mates, I heard mats)**_ and what was she supposed to do? They were both handsome and everything, but both had mats! _**(*gasp* they only want her as a... dun dun dun SECOND MAT?)**_ And she loved them both! Firstar _**(Firstar)** _was so kind and he obviously liked her a lot. Gaystripe was so funny and cool.

"!" said StarPaw as she ran into the forest. _**("!" she said "isn't it so cool how I can talk in punctuation?!1111!")**_ It was too much, she couldn't choose!

She ran and ran and ran till her paws hurt. Then she realized she had crossed the border. 'Oh no' she thought, 'Shadowclan will get me'.

"What are you doing here?" said Balkstar _**(balkstar? no wonder Starpaw was able to beat him, he just balked away from her!)**_ as she walked up.

"I'm sorry!" meowed Starkit _**(-gleam, -kit, -paw... I don't even know anymore)**_ "I didn't mean too!"

"That's okay" said Blackstar. "No one's perfect."

"No that's not true" said Starpaw, offended. "StarClan is."**_(Miley Cyrus begs to differ)_**

"What do you mean?" yawned Blackstar.

"Well they give us all this halp and stuff" said Starpaw "without them we would be lost." _**(By Starpaw's logic, "Halp"ing = Perfect, Perfect = Starclan. If I give someone help, then it's me = helping. By substitution, me = Starclan! I am a supporter of this!)**_

"I guess that's true" Blackstar said, "Besides I didn't really mean that anyway."

"Oh really, why?" said Starpaw. "BECAUSE YOU ARE"_**(Wait, what? I'm so lost...)**_

"WHAT?" YOWLED Starpaw jumping away as Blackstar tried to nugle _**(LMAO)**_ her.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MOLE STRAEP ME?!"_** (I hate it when people mole straep me! But even worse is nuggling *shivers*)**_

"E—" Blackstar started to explain, but Starpaw was too quick.

"No" she said "I don't need another tom after me! I got enough problems right now anyway!

"But you're perfect." said Blackstar. "You beat me in battle! You HAVE TO BE!" _**(Blackstar's logic: Beat Blackstar in battle = perfect)**_

_**"**_NO!" shitted Starpaw _**(this is taking a nasty turn)**_, again running into the forest. Tears rolled down her cheeks, she was crying _**(CAPPPPPPPTAIIIIN OBBBBBVIOUS)**_ .

'It's too much!' she thought.

"Starclan help me….!" **_(I am Starclan (remember logic) and I refuse to help Starpaw)_**

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><p><em><strong>This gets better and better. <strong>_

_**Reviews would be greatly appreciated! **_

_**CF**_


	8. Chapter 8: TREE

**_C8:_ "Chapter six Desions"**

**_Here we go again_**

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><p><strong><strong>Chapter 8: Chapter Six Desions,<strong>**

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><p><strong>Chapter Six: Decisions<strong>  
><strong>STOP GLAMMING! <em>(okay!)<em> IF YOU'RE A FLAMER YOU'RE A SATANIST AND WILL BUN IN HELL!_(NO! NOT BUNNING IN HELL! I WILL REPENT FOR MY CARBOHYDRATE SINS!1111!)_**

**LAST TIME ON STARKIT'S PROPHECY _(un-edited for your amusement)_**

"NO!" shitted SarPaw _**(tears are running down my face)**_. Again runnin into the forst. Ters ralled down her checks she was cyring. 'its too much" sahe though. "Starcalnb help me….!"

**END FLASHBACK**

After that Starpaw walked through the forest. She was so depressed! Who was she supposed to pick? Then she saw Jayfeather coming through the forest towards her.

"Jayfeather I'm so confused what do I do?" she yelled. "There are three toms after me! **_(comfortable topics to discuss with your dad 101)_** TREEEEEE!"_** (Jayfeather - Yes daughter, that is a tree)**_

"I know" said Jayfeather. He looked happy. "That's good for you, it means that people like you!" _**(except for Millie, Silverstream, Sandstorm, Spottedleaf and possibly Russetfur)** _he told me, smiling.

"NO, NUT. I LOVE ALL OF THEM" said Starpaw, wailing, upset. "I DON'T KNOW WHO TO PICK!"

"Well then let me tell you a story" said Jayfeather as he sat down. "Once upon a time there were a few cats that I liked."

"Who were they" said StarPaw, snifling.

"Their names were Dawnsparkle and... Stick _**(here we go...)**_" said JayFeather.

"OMG STICK!" whispered Starpaw **_(whilst implying screaming with caps?)_** "YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH A STICK?" She couldn't believe it. After all this time she finds _**(dabbling with present-tense?)**_ out that her father loved a STICK. SHE GASPED IN SHOCK.

"What did you do? she asked, since she was curious.

"Well I couldn't have kids with a stick now could I?" said Jaypaw _**(Well, Jaypaw, you're a medicine cat. You aren't supposed to have kits...period)**_ and he looked confused, like he didn't know she would ask that question.

"SO YOU WENT WITH DAWNSPARKLE INSTEAD!" YELLED STARpaw looking very happy. "But that doesn't help me what am I supposed to do?"

"Follow your heart" said Jayfeather. "Who do you want to be with."

'Hmm' StarPaw thought for a second.

"FireStar!" she yelled and then ran off to tell him that she loved him. _**(If I was Jayfeather, I think I'd be a little concerned that my daughter was in love with MY grandfather)**_

_**(And it all ends there, and Firestar lives his happy incestual relationship with Starpaw until the day he dies? Nope? Okay.)**_

NO FLAMES!1!12!1

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><p><em><strong>This gets better and better. <strong>_

_**Reviews would be greatly appreciated! **_

_**CF**_


	9. Chapter 9: tus gud reviewz

_**CH8: "**_**Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1**_**"**_

_**Just for your lolz, this chapter will include the edited version and the unedited version. **_

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight the Ceremony!<strong>

**STOP REVIEWING BAD, but thank you JAZZPAW for the good reviews you've been leaving. _(I am not mentally equipped to imagine these "good reviews" "Jazzpaw" left on the story)_**

Starpaw skidded into the camp. "FIRESTAR," SHE YOWLED, "I have to tell you something!" _**(WHY the random CAPSlock?)**_

"Not now Starpaw," he said, "You've got to become a WARRIOR!"_** (*gets up and leaves again* SHE'S BEEN AN APPRENTICE FOR A DAY!)**_

"OH MY GOSH, REALLY?!" screamed Starpaw.

"YEAH," said Firestar. "You've been a warrior for only 3.14 days _**(very precise, Firestar!)**_ but you are the best apprentice in the Clan. Your perfect _**(hang on LOGIC TIME, if Starclan = perfect, and perfect = Starpaw, Starpaw = Starclan! Very nice logic, Firestar)**_. We need you to help defeat Blackstar and ShadowClan _**(Starpaw already did beat "Balkstar"... I think Firestar's getting a bit loony).**_ And all the other Clans. They are trying to attack us we're in the middle of a war _**(This would have been nice to know beforehand. Also, wouldn't Firestar want his "mat" to be safe and not fight when she's only six moons old?)**_."

"Omigosh, WE ARE?" screamed StarPaw. She was so surprised _**(us too, Starpaw...us too)**_.

"Yeah, Dustpelt died while you were away. During your walk Riverclan attacked us _**(WHY? THEY ARE ACROSS THE LAKE FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE)**_." said Sandstorm. She looked sort of sad _**(but only sort of, guys)**_ she knew Firestar loved Stargleam _**(woah woah woah, we've got an OC Sandstorm right here)**_. But it was okay: she knew what was best _**(incest is always best)**_.

"OMG," _**(I think OhMyStarclan would be more fitting)**_ said Starpaw. "Quick make me a warrior!"

"Okay," said Firestar. He walked up to Starpaw. "All cats gather 'round who are old enough to catch their own prey!"

"Today we are making a new warrior."

The Clan GASPED!

"Starpaw! Starpaw!" shouted the clan. They all knew immediately it was she whom was being made a warrior **_(I wonder if Whom was a mistake or not)_**.

Starpaw was so excited! She'd never been so happy in her life _**(all six moons of it)**_!

"Starpaw….." said Firepaw _**(the hell?)**_. He was smiling like she'd never seen him smile before. "Are you ready to become a warrior in the name of Starclan?"

"Yes!" she shouted.

"Okay." he said. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this name. **(_Firestar throws out the canonical ceremony for the perfect Stargleam_).** From now on, you will be known as Starpaw (**...**) for your pelt which shines like the stars; and your connection to StarClan. We honor your bravery and kindness."

"Starpaw! Starpaw!" shouted the clan. They **(_had already forgotten the hero's name? This sentence doesn't end...creepy!_)**

Stargleam (finally!) grinned. She was a warrior! At last!"

"Firestar," she said, coming over to him. "I want to tell you something." They looked seriously at him (**who did? o.O**).

"Yeah, what is it?" he said, hope shining in his eayers **(_I'm assuming this is "eyes" but it looks an awful lot like "ears"_)**.

'Does he know?' Stargleam thought.

"Firestar…." she breathed. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this after so long (_**I too dream about telling my great-grandfather I'd like to be his mate...doesn't everyone?**_).

"I….."

"WINDCLAN ATTACK!" shouted a voice from above the camp.

It was….

HOLYLEAF! (_**OH NO! THE HOLY LEAF! THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE EVIL "HOLLY" IN THE PROPHECY!**_)

I worked really hard on this chapter and tried to spell good. So, please review NICE! (_**Ha. Ha. Ha.**_)

**_Here's xdarkrosesx's attempt at "spell good" for chapter nine, UNEDITED:_**

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><p><strong>Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1<strong>  
><strong>STOP REVOFIGN BAD! but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levving<strong>

StarPaw skided into de Camp. "FIRSTAR" SHE YOWLED "I ha to tel; uo somesting?"

"nut ow StarOaw" he sadi "yuve gut to become WARRIOR!'

"MOGOSH REALLY creamed StarPaw.

YEAH SAID firestar "Youv been a war for onll 3.14 dayss butt u are the best apent ice in the cAlan. Ur perfect. We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. And all teh other calns. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle of a warr. "

"omgosh WE ARE?" scremmed StarPal she sus so surpissed!

"Ya DustPelt did while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us." Said SandTrom. She locked sortaf sad she New FireStart lovved Stargleam. But it wass ok she newt wht wus best.

"OMGoht" sid StarPaw. "Quickk mack me a warrror!"

"Oak" said Firestar. He wlaked up to StarPaw. "aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey!"

"Tday we are making a new Warrior."

The calnn GASPED!

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They all new infancy it was she whom was beng mad a warrior.

Starpaw was so exited! She'd never bin so hap inner life!

"StarPaw….." said FirePaw. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore. "Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:"

"Yes!" she shock3d.

"oak." Eh sad. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann. We onner you'r bravvery and" " kindness."

"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They

StarGleam girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!"

"FireScar," she said, cuming over 2 him. "I wanna tell u somesing." They locked sirously at him.

"yeah wat is it?" he sad, hop shinning in his eayres.

Dos he knew? StarGlema think.

"Firestar…." She brethed. She cullednt she was actually dong this after so lung.

"I….."

WINDCLAN ATTAK! Shioted a voise from obove the Camp.

It was….

HOLYLEAF!

**I workd reall' herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good so plzz review NICE!**

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><p><em><strong>So, if you're still around, I wouldn't mind a review :)<strong>_

_**CF**_


	10. Chapter 10: Tiggerstar & Holyleaf

_**CH9: "**_**Chatter NEIN Teh Evil Tigger and holY**_**"**_

_**Ut oh, looks like we're going to deal with evil Holy leaf again... brace yourselves**_

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: The Evil Tigger and Holy (<em>Not the Tigger and the Holy! Anything but the Tigger and the Holy!<em>)**  
><strong>I SAID NO FLAMES! YOU'RE JUST JELOUS. YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, LJESS (<em>never going to correct Jesus, I promised<em>) IS YOUR SAVIOUR. _(Kind of contradictory. Just slightly)_**

"Oh no! It's Hollyleaf!" yelled Firestar (_**oh no! It's my granddaughter! Sooooo scary**_). He ran away (_**now it's wimpy Firestar**_). Sandstorm went after him.

Stargleam looked up. Hollyleaf was standing there and there was another cat with her (_**I guess Tigger **_**is**_** a cat**_).

"OMIGOSH, IT'S TIGGERSTAR!" she hissed. "WHAT WILL WE DO?" (_**I think it's obvious, Stargleam. You will save the day with your mary-sue capabilities!**_)

"We fight," said Jayfeather and he ran at Hollyleaf (_**his sister...and Jayfeather's blind...but at least he's not wimpy like Firestar and Blackstar!**_). Stargleam watched as Hollyleaf looked at Jayfeather and killed him with one shot (_**Hollyleaf, that's not nice! *waggles finger***_)

"YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" Stargleam yelled. She attacked Hollyleaf. Hollypaw (_**found the fountain of youth!**_) got out of the way and Starpaw attacked Tiggerstar (_**not Tiggerstar! What did he do? He's not even in the prophecy!**_).

"You killed Tigerstar!" yelled Firestar (**_the wimp returns_**), he looked happy. "You are special!"

Stargleam was so happy she didn't notice as Hollyleaf grabbed Firestar and took him away.

"OH NO," yelled Starkit. "WE HAVE TO SAVE HIM! (A_**t least Starkit noticed! Stargleam is a slacker**_)

**A cliff hanger! See, I'm a good writer, I know what that is! (_I hardly think knowing what a "cliff hungr" is makes you a good writer, xdarkrosesx_) Thanks for the good reviews Jazzpaw and everyone else who's not a flamer!**

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><p><strong><em>Another great chapter in Starkit world! <em>**  
><em><strong><br>**_

**_CF_**


	11. Chapter 11: the reclusive rescue

_**C10: "**_**The Recluse**_**"**_

**Chapter Ten: The Recluse _(every commentary I've come across corrects this, but I think Recluse sounds better so that's what I'm going with)_**

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><p>"EVERYONE FOLLOW ME," meowed Stargleam as she charged for the entrance of camp. Tears streamed down her face: she was so sad that her father had died and her leader<em><strong> (slash incestual-love)<strong> _was gone. "FLAMEPAW, LAKEPAW, DUSTPELT _**(reincarnated? I'm pretty sure Dustpelt died two chapters back, but then again I can't keep anything straight in this story)**_ MOM, AND LIONBLAZE FOLLOW ME," she said. "I NEED A PATROL."

The ran into the forest, their paws working quickly. She would kill Hollyleaf and Tigerstar _**(what about Tiggerstar?)**_ for what they had done!

She battle-cried, using her nose to track down the evil cats. Her heart burned _**(my heart is on FIRE)**_!

Soon they found them. They were hiding behind a boulder_** (Hollyleaf sucks at hide and seek)**_.

"HAHAHAHA," laughed Hollyleaf, putting her claw on Firestar's throat. "I'VE GOT YOU NOW!"

StarGleam gasped. "Noooooo Fireheart!" she screamed.

"Flamepaw, go!" she said._** (Sending your kit-sister into battle against an evil villain thrice her age is always a good idea, no?)**_

Flamepaw hurled herself at Hollyleaf. Hollyleaf looked at her in surprise.

"What, how could they have followed me?" she dodged Flamepaw, her blue _**(GREEN)** _eyes flashing.

"NO, FLAMEPAW," whined Lakepaw, seeing her sister about to die _**(I must have missed a sentence because I'm lost)**_. "I LOVE YOU, FLAMEPAW," she yowled, jumping in front of Hollyleaf.

Hollyleaf's paw cut into her throat. Blood came out, Lakepaw fell down.

"NO!" Starpaw screamed. "FLAMEPAW!"_** (Lakepaw's the one that just died, Starpaw)**_ She ran for Hollyleaf but it was no use. Lakepaw was dyeing _**(an array of cat sweaters!)**_. "I love you Stargleam," she whispered before her blue eyes closed _**(those dyes can be pretty toxic)**_.

"NO, WAKE UP LAKEPOOL," _**(Stargleam gave her dead sister a warrior name! Interesting!)**_ shouted Stargleam. She was so sad and depressed: she was crying!

"Hahaha," laughed Hollyleaf evilly. "You just don't get it, do you? I'm one of the Three!_** (no you aren't)** _I have powers beyond your imagination!" And then…she turned into…A BARE! _**(why...all...the...ellipses...)**_

"Gasp!" gasped everyone. It was a bare! _**(I have no hope for America's future if a (reportedly) twelve year old can't distinguish between two homophones as simple as furry noun vs. adjective)**_

"I'M A SHAPESHITTER!" said Hollyleaf joyfully _**(moments before producing excrement in the shape of a trapezoid)**_.

"Stargleam," said Flamepaw, crying. "I need to go back to the camp. I got to _**(GRAMMARRRRRR)**_ bury Lakepaw. I've never been out of camp before... how do you get back? _**(ThunderClan keeps it's apprentices locked up in camp?)**_"

"You just walk to the east," said Starpaw.

"Thanks," said Flamepaw, crying. She picked up Lakepaw and put her on her back and ran.

"Not so fast!" said Hollyleaf. "You're not going to get away that easily!" With a roar like a volcano erection_** (*snickers into palm*)** _she jumped at Stargleam!

Everone! Gasped! _**(Oh! No!)**_

"NOOOO." yowled Stargleam as something long and sharp plunged into her back. "YOU CAN'T GET ME THAT EASILY."

Everyone jumped at the HoBare! The bare roared in pain! Starpaw sunk her teeth into its fur. It roared.

"Okay, okay," Hollyleaf the bare said. "I know you're not going to be beaten that easily."

Suddenly she was a cat! Then her body dropped and her eyes went dark. She was on the ground _**(where else would you go when your body drops?)**_. Suddenly there was a howl from the other side of the forest. It was LaFlamepaw _**(Lakepaw and Flamepaw combined?)**_

"LAKEPAW, YOU'RE BACK!" SHE SAID.

"WHAT." said Stargleam. The she looked. It was Lakepool _**(or Lakepaw or Lakefall or who cares!)** _She was running towards the forest. Stargleam was so happy. Then she saw her eyes.

THEY WERE HOLLYLEAF'S_** (oh shit! dun dun dun!)**_

**The next chapter will come soon! AND STOP FLAMING YOU HATERS. YOU JUST DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD _(Whatever you say, xdarkrosesx)_.**

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><p><strong><em>Reviews are appreciated!<em>**

**_CF_**


	12. Chapter 12: Starpawglemflame is STREET

_**C11: "**_**The Catter 1 The figt Aganst the sitters 1**_**"**_

**Chapter Eleven: Chapter 11, The Fight Against The Sisters**

"Oh nose!" yelled Starpaw. She was so horrified. "Lakepool is back and she is NOT OKAY _**(Starpaw is finally getting on the right page!)!**_"

"Of corse I'm not okay!" Lakefall _**(xdarkrosesx changes Lakepaw's name every chance she gets!)** _screamed loudly. She hissed at Stargleam _**(It was StarPAW a sentence ago, the inconsistency is amazing)**_.

"I'm being possessed by Hollyleaf, what do you THINK?!" she yelled _**(so she has control over her voice?)** _and hurled herself at Starpaw. Stargleam was so surprised she couldn't move. _**(Stargleam, help Starpaw! She needs help!)**_

Then... "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It was...

REDPAW! Redpaw runneth _**(SHAKESPEAREAN LANGUAGE IS MAKINGTH AN APPEARANCE)**_ over to Starpaw and jumped _**(eth)**_ in front of her. Lakepawpool _**(this is a good compromise to the naming issue, no?)**_ hit her instead.

"No Redpaw!" choked Stargleam as she looked at Redpaw.

"Redpaw are you okay?" she asked, upset. Redpaw coughed. "No, I'm not but at least I saved your life _**(Priorities, Redpaw)**_!" she said and then he did _**(he did what?)**_.

Starflame _**(I like Starflame more than Stargleam!)**_ looked at Redpaw she was so beautiful **(_sing it with me i-n-c-e-s-t find out what it means to me...)_**. Stargleam shook her head.

"No I'm STREET!" she thought madly. "But now what do we do about Lakepaw!?"

She looked up. Lakepaw was running towards Lionblaze. She was SIDE SWEPT _**(that's a big word for xdarkrosesx! granted, she did spell it completely wrong)**_!

"NOW LionHEART!" whispered Stargleam _**(was she summoning the golden StarClan warrior?)**_ and she ran towards Lionblaze. She hit Lakepaw, who died too.

"Stargleam, I will get you for this," said LakePaw _**(I thought she just died?)**_ as SatinClaw _**(ooh, soft claws!)**_ dragged her away to HellClan _**(the absolute BEST Clan!)**_. He was wearing pink nail polish_** (fun facts about SatinClaw 101)**_.

Then, Stargleam started to cry as she realized that her sister was dead _**(yeah, Stargleam, YOU KILLED HER)**_.

"You killed my subject!" Hollyleaf roared, turning back into a bare. "I'll get you for this!" she said, and then she ran at Stargleam.

"Oh no!" yelled everyone _**(ooh the useless patrol makes an appearance at last!...)**_ "Starpaw get out of the way!" _**(...being useless, of course)**_

Time seemed to slow down as Stargleam ran away from the bare. But she ran left into... TIGGERSTAR! _**(the wonderful thing about tiggers...)**_"

"Firestar!" yelled a TiggerStraw _**(Ooh, I want a TiggerStraw!)**_. "You are going to die now _**(what does Tiggerstraw or Tiggerstar have against poor little Firestar?)**_!" And he held out... SOME JEW! _**(*tries to muffle laughter in an attempt to be politically correct*)**_

"Omg...yew!" yelled Flamepaw as she looked at the yew. "But it wouldn't work because there's a lizard on it."_** (Flamepaw's logic 101. Can be taken in conjunction with Giving Your Kit Daughter Advice about Dating Toms More Than Thrice Her Age, taught by Jayfeather)**_ They all looked at the lizard. It was a newt _**(very essential information for the rest of the story. do not forget that the lizard on the jew...I mean yew was a newt)**_. The newt ran away.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Flamepaw. "Now the yew is going work!

"Eat the yew!" said Tiggerstar. He thrust it at Stargleam. Stargleam backed away. "You're never get me to eat it!" she asked and then she howled, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"

"Are you so sure?" asked Tigerclaw_** (now Tigerclaw is here too?!)** _and then he lunged at Stargleam and grabbed her and ran away _**(too many ands in a sentence, xdarkrosesx!)**_. "You'll never catch me!" he laughed meanly. "I'm going to Shadowclan!"_** (clearly, Tigerstar missed the Be A Villain 101 class where Brokenstar lectured on never letting the kidnapper's friends know where you're taking them)**_

**Guys, I've been working really hard on this _(*snorts*)_ while I was gone. I'm sorry for the wait. Review better and I'll update more quick.**

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><p><em><strong>Well, I made it to eleven! It only goes downhill from here. <strong>_

_**Review? Pretty please? :p**_

_**CF**_


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